Phone Etiquette

In these days of very little phone etiquette I would like to instill some rules that I would like everyone to follow, at least if your on the phone with me. :) 
1. Don't call anyone before 10 AM unless it is an emergency! (As my mom would say who is bleeding?)
2. Don't call me then ask me to hang on, that is just completely redick! Call me if you have something to   say and are ready to spit it out!
3. It is unnecessary to leave a message just saying you called. I have a cell phone I already know you called and now I have to listen to a message to tell me you called, its redundant.
4. If you call and I don't get to the phone in time and I call you back 10 seconds later you better answer the phone I know you are by it and its working just fine. That shit aggravates the hell out of me.
5. If you hear my kids acting like heathens in the background be considerate enough to cut to the fucking chase, as you can hear I have other shit going on.
6. If you are in a super loud place don't call me just to shoot the shit, I can't hear you and you can't hear me so why are we on the phone.
7. If you are in a public place that is generally quiet don't carry on a personal phone conversation for everyone to hear. I can't turn my sense of hearing off and you would think it was rude if I take your phone out of your hand and stomp on it so lets just avoid the situation.
8. Don't put a song for a ringtone that you wouldn't want anyone to hear, as funny as I find it for you to look embarrassed I really know deep down you are doing it because you think its funny and that sucks all the humor out of it for me!
These are all for now, I do reserve the right to edit or add to this list! Happy reading!